From what we’ve read of Mrs. Dalloway, a significant thread seems to be Clarissa’s experiences (or lack thereof) with love, and how that affects her reminiscences of the past and her relationships of the present.
And what was this except being in love?
At Bourton, at age 18, during that fateful summer... Was Clarissa truly(1) in love with Sally, or was she merely(2) infatuated? Even if it were the latter, I don't think it would diminish the significance and value of their relationship and Clarissa’s experiences (which included “the most exquisite moment of her whole life”). However, it would prompt us to examine Clarissa’s life more carefully(3). Clarissa, it seems, was definitely enthralled with Sally — her worldliness, her extraordinary beauty, her sort of abandonment. But like we’ve reiterated so many times in class, due to Clarissa’s upbringing and the time period (among many other factors, I’m sure), a fulfilling lesbian relationship with Sally would have been completely off the table — Clarissa never would have even thought of it as a possibility. Thus, admiration and protectiveness are what Clarissa use to characterize her old feelings, and even now, Clarissa isn’t sure exactly if those things were indicative of love.
How important is the idea of love in comparison to other things that are necessary for a healthy relationship? From what we’ve seen of Richard Dalloway, he seems like a pleasant person who really cares about (and perhaps even loves) Clarissa (despite not being able to tell her that in their first interaction that we’re shown). Sure, there doesn’t seem to be that much passion or vibrancy(4) in their relationship, but there is security, support, and mutual respect and understanding. While Clarissa feels as though she has somehow failed Richard, Richard does not seem to be aware of such a failure at all, continuing to be as earnest and sincere as possible. Is that enough to continue sustaining the relationship? Does he have enough love for two? I suppose if he's been able to for (around?) twenty years, it should be possible to continue to do so.
(1) I suppose by using “truly”, I might be making things more complicated. Being in love must be different for different people, and so I guess it’s probably not that great, as a bystander, to try and set certain standards, and call into question if a love is true or not. If Clarissa thinks that she was in love, then who’s to tell her otherwise?
(2) I guess using “merely” might make it seem like I’m making light of infatuations, so I’d like to clarify. It’s used in order to signal how much more love can be than an infatuation. It doesn’t mean infatuations are silly (though they definitely can be) or aren’t worth very much (the things one feels, of course, are completely legitimate).
(3) Not really in a “what’s wrong with her, why can’t she be in love” way, but in a “huh, how come" way.
(4) Butterflies in one’s stomach, flutterings in one’s heart, chills down one’s spine... Feelings of exhilaration or excitement, I guess?
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ReplyDelete"Infatuation" seems like a pretty apt word to characterize Clarissa's feelings for Sally, a slightly stronger valence than "crush," which is how I often think of it. It implies an intensity of feeling and the sense that her identity and sense of self is entirely tied up in these feelings--but it's not "just" about Sally and being really into her. It's the freedom (intellectual, cultural, political, gender/sexual) that Sally represents; the kiss in the garden is of a piece with this whole formative period in Clarissa's life, when she had "theories" about society and liked to read revolutionary social criticism and discuss big ideas with Peter and Sally late into the night. (Clarissa never was able to attend college, but Bourton sounds a lot like a pretty typical freshman year in many ways.) She is infatuated with who she is when she's with Sally. But "infatuation" implies that this is ultimately fleeting, a phase--influential in ways that can't be measured, to the point that she's profoundly moved thinking about this stuff 30 years later, but to be put aside in favor of a more stable and comfortable, conventional life with Richard.
ReplyDeleteShe's not infatuated with Richard, but maybe that has something to do with why they've been together so long.
Clarissa's lack of "infatuation" with Richard does not sound like a desirable marital situation. However, it's quite possible that her lack of feeling towards him is a commentary on marriage in 20th century Britain. Like you said, they had security, support, and respect for one another. That does not sound like enough to justify marriage, but at the time, I bet it was. And since Clarissa's relationship with Sally was off the table and Peter was too complicated, one could argue that this was the best arrangement that could've been made for Clarissa at the time.
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